|—||me trying to console someone (via bitchesaloud)|
one thing I will never understand is how normal people are unaffected by movies or books I mean when they watch a movie or finish a book they say “well that was a good movie/book” and they move on while I have an existentional crisis and question the whole universe
omfg my mom dropped her iphone in the toilet so she fished it out and desperately yelled ‘SIRI I DROPPED YOU IN THE TOILET WHAT DO I DO’ and siri replied ‘Tara, you have 28 events in July. That’s a lot.’ and then died
#more dramatic than romeo and juliet
so my little sister heard the ice cream truck and tried to grab her money and run after it but she couldn’t catch up so now she’s just kinda lying there on the street
whY DID YOU NOT SAY SHE WAS LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND
so my nan was spouting some crap about how gay people aren’t really people because of what it says in the bible so I said “you think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you but if you walked the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew” and she shut the fuck up
she had no idea I was quoting a song from Pocahontas
when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man
NOT asking for it.
Words of wisdom from Nickelodeon.
Thank you Dan Schneider
Ariana Grande talking about Of Mice & Men my life is officially complete
Animals with Watermelons
the fucking parrot
I luv u waturmelon
An important documentary.
Were is the otter that looked so disgusted with its watermelon?
here he is